Tyra Juliette Schwartz: The Sky Is Red, and Teaching Self-Trust

Tyra Juliette Schwartz was nine when a teacher told her she would grow up to be a waitress. It was not said kindly, and it was not said about waitressing. She carried it, and it did not turn out to be true, and the reason she brings it up is that a child that age has no defense against an adult's verdict except one: some sense, already built, that she is allowed to disagree.

Our guest is Tyra Juliette Schwartz, a performing artist who has toured internationally for most of her life and is now a children's book author. Her book The Sky Is Red came out of a game with her own daughter, in which Tyra insisted the sky was red and her three-year-old refused to fold, and it is written to teach self-trust as a superpower. She and Lisa were introduced by Marnie Grundman, a therapist and repeat guest on this show.

The conversation works through what it means to raise a child who can hold their own position without becoming a child who trusts no adult. Tyra's version is a thin line walked deliberately: obey and respect, and also ask questions, and also notice when your gut is telling you something. She and Lisa talk about how that carries into adulthood, including the years Tyra spent being told the person she was dating was wonderful while she was watching the red flags, and deciding she must be the one who had it wrong.

The last part is about custody. A parent who cannot be present at the other house cannot warn their child about it either, since running down the other parent runs down half of the child. Tyra's answer is to build self-trust and the ability to advocate, practiced in safe moments at home, and to teach a child that they are in charge of their own feelings and are not responsible for convincing anyone. She closes with the fifth-grade party she was pointedly not invited to, and where she was standing years later.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Where The Sky Is Red came from, and the game behind it
• Why questioning an adult is not disrespect, for a child or for you
• How to practice standing up to an authority in a place where it is safe
• Teaching a child that their instincts count, and what happens when nobody does
• Why warning a child about their other parent damages the child
• Self-trust as the defense against gaslighting and against alienation
• Building your child up instead of tearing down the other parent
• What to tell a child who is the only person in the room who sees it their way

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Where "the sky is red" came from
3:00 Who Tyra Juliette Schwartz is, from touring to children's books
5:00 Respecting adults and still being allowed to disagree
7:00 A fourth-grade teacher's prediction, and what it cost
9:00 Not everything you hear is true, and what teens said about it
11:00 Questioning is not disrespect, for kids or for adults
13:00 Instincts, red flags, and the person everyone else vouches for
17:00 Shared custody, and practicing self-advocacy in a safe place
19:00 Building your child up instead of tearing the other parent down
21:00 Being the only one in the room who sees it that way

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Tyra Juliette Schwartz, author of The Sky Is Red: https://tyrajuliette.com/

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.