Been There Got Out Podcast

Navigating Trust and Betrayal in Military Marriages

Chris & Lisa | Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky Season 2025 Episode 322

Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, a distinguished psychologist and marriage and family therapist, returns to share her invaluable insights on one of the most challenging issues faced by military couples: infidelity. With infidelity rates climbing by 22% during deployments, Dr. Polinsky unveils the seven distinct types of affairs that can arise, offering a clearer understanding of the underlying motivations. The conversation delves into the immense stress and separation distress that deployments can impose, often leading to emotional disconnection and conflict that may drive individuals to seek solace elsewhere. Her expertise helps listeners navigate the murky waters of self-blame and relationship challenges.

As technology bridges the distance between separated partners, it also introduces new dynamics that can inadvertently fuel infidelity. Our discussion touches on how tools like Wi-Fi on military ships enable frequent communication but also open doors for missteps. Dr. Polinsky categorizes affairs into three main types—protest or revenge, "come and get me," and burnout exit—each with its unique emotional drivers. With her guidance, we unravel the complex emotions at play and the potential pitfalls for long-distance and military relationships, offering a roadmap to understanding and addressing these issues.

In our final segment, we tackle the intricate psychological factors that often underpin affairs, especially in those with trauma histories or in hyper-masculine professions. We explore the role of compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from emotional pain, drawing connections to childhood experiences that stunt emotional growth. Dr. Polinsky underscores the importance of understanding and patience, highlighting the potential for healing and growth despite the challenges. Through her insights, we aim to inspire hope and foster long-term commitment to change, providing a beacon of hope for those navigating the complexities of infidelity.