Been There Got Out Podcast
Been There Got Out Podcast
When Your ADHD or Special Needs Child Is Weaponized Against You in Court
🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."**
Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between special needs children and custody battles.
If you have a child with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other neurodivergent conditions, this conversation could change how you approach your custody case and protect your relationship with your child.
**What You'll Learn:**
âś… Why special needs cases are exploding in family courts (and what's driving the increase)
âś… The 3 types of gatekeeping: Facilitative vs. Protective vs. Restrictive
âś… When "protecting" your special needs child crosses the line into alienation
âś… Implicit bias against neurodivergent parents in family court (and how to counter it)
âś… Why having ADHD or autism doesn't make you an unfit parent
âś… How your ex weaponizes your child's special needs against you
âś… The perfect storm: Over-involved parent + under-involved parent + autistic child
âś… Why family systems therapy is crucial for neurodivergent family cases
âś… What to do when therapy sessions keep getting canceled (consequences that actually work)
âś… Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention strategies
âś… Why one judge managing your entire case makes all the difference
âś… The "Welcome Home Pluto" approach to psychoeducation for parents
**About Ashish Joshi:**
Ashish Joshi is an attorney whose practice focuses on cases involving family violence—including domestic violence, intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, coercive control, and parental alienation (which he describes as gatekeeping behaviors). His earlier background in criminal defense and family law led him into alienation work through issues of child suggestibility and forensic interviewing in child abuse cases. Over time, he's become a leading expert in cases involving neurodivergence—whether it's a parent on the autism spectrum, a child with severe ADHD, or other special needs situations. Ashish is frequently cited in our books and has become part of what we call the "dream team" of professionals who truly understand the most extreme divorce, separation, and custody situations.
⏱️ **TIMESTAMPS:**
00:00 - Introduction: The special needs + alienation connection
01:40 - Why 90% of special needs families divorce
04:43 - Ashish's niche: Family violence, alienation & neurodivergence
07:04 - Implicit bias: When courts assume neurodivergent parents are unfit
09:19 - The 3 types of gatekeeping (facilitative, protective, restrictive)
12:18 - Red flags of restrictive gatekeeping behavior
16:30 - The "perfect storm" in special needs custody cases
20:15 - Why family systems therapy is essential
24:50 - Enforcing therapy when the alienating parent won't comply
28:40 - Court orders without consequences = meaningless paper
33:34 - Creative solutions when teens refuse therapy
36:48 - Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention
38:08 - The importance of psychoeducation (Welcome Home Pluto)
**⚠️ This Interview Is Critical If:**
- Your child has autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other special needs
- Your ex is saying "the child only responds well to me"
- You've been accused of being unfit because of your own ADHD or neurodivergence
- Your ex is weaponizing your child's special needs in court
- You're the highly attuned parent worried about crossing into restrictive gatekeeping
- Therapy sessions keep getting canceled with no consequences
- You're seeing early warning signs of alienation but parents are still together
- You have court orders that aren't being