What Really Happens When CPS Investigates You During a Custody Battle

What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your Door

When Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious at your ex for weaponizing the system, and completely in the dark about what happens next.

In this episode, Lisa sits down with Sara Vandenberg, a trauma psychotherapist and former CPS caseworker in Texas, for one of the most practical, fear-reducing conversations we've ever had about what CPS investigations actually look like from the inside.

Here's what Sara wants you to know before anything else: about 6-7 million children are investigated by CPS each year in the United States. Only about 5% are ever removed from the home. CPS is not a custody agency, and they cannot take your children and give them to your ex. That's not how the system works.

Sara pulls back the curtain on the risk-versus-danger framework that CPS workers use when they walk into your home. Risk is the deer crossing sign on the road at night. Danger is the deer standing in the middle of the road. CPS is concerned with danger, not with judging you as a parent.

She also shares something critical that surprises most parents: CPS is not looking to see if you are a good or bad parent. They are looking to see if your child is safe. Understanding this distinction can completely change how you approach a CPS investigation and how the investigator perceives you.

🎯 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

- Why CPS cannot and will not award custody to your ex, no matter what they tell you
- The exact statistics that should calm your immediate panic (and why removal is far rarer than you think)
- What CPS workers are actually looking for when they enter your home
- The surprising reason documenting your CHILD's behavior matters more than documenting your ex's
- How your emotional reaction in the first minutes of a CPS visit can shape the entire investigation
- What to do if your child may be exposed to drugs - and the hair follicle testing fact that'll shock you
- How to prepare your child for a caseworker interview without it looking like coaching
- What an "unfounded" finding means and how to use it strategically in court
- The most powerful thing you can tell the caseworker if you have a trusted family member who could help
- How repeated unfounded CPS calls by your ex can actually damage THEIR credibility

📚 About Sara Vandenberg:

Sara Vandenberg is a trauma professional, psychotherapist, and the founder of Tonalli Counseling Services. She specializes in familial sexual abuse, incest, and complex betrayal trauma. Before her career as a therapist, Sara worked as a CPS caseworker in Texas, giving her a rare dual perspective on child welfare that few practitioners can offer. Her upcoming book, "Choosing to Love Again: Overcoming the Kind of Betrayal That Nobody Talks About," addresses healing from familial sexual abuse and other profound betrayals.

Find Sara at: tonalliservices.com

💬 Are You Facing a CPS Investigation or False Allegations?

Lisa and Chris at Been There Got Out work with targeted parents every day who are dealing with CPS weaponization, false allegations, and the overwhelming fear that comes with it. If you'd like to talk through your specific situation, we offer a free 30-minute discovery call.

👉 Book your free call: beentheregotout.com