Been There Got Out Podcast

My Ex Is Using the Court System as a Weapon. What Can I Do?

Chris & Lisa | James Porfido Season 2026 Episode 353

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0:00 | 38:43

If you've ever sat in a courtroom waiting for a judge to address what your ex is doing... and walked out with nothing... AGAIN, you already know this truth in your bones: justice delayed is justice denied.

Criminal defense attorney, legal analyst, and law professor James Porfido has spent more than 35 years watching the American legal system from every angle: as a prosecutor in the Morris County Prosecutor's Office, as a certified criminal trial attorney, and as a defense attorney for people caught in a system that often seemed designed to work against them. His book, Unequal Justice, is a frank accounting of what he witnessed.

In this conversation with Lisa, James brings that rare "both sides of the courtroom" perspective to the world of high-conflict divorce and custody — and what he sees mirrors exactly what our community lives every day.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Why family court cases drag on for months and years, and why judges often feel they have no choice
- How a toxic ex uses court delays strategically to wear you down, separate you from your children, and drain your finances
- What "parental alienation" looks like through the eyes of a criminal attorney who has represented falsely accused parents
- How coached child testimony works and what it means for your case
- The single most important thing to look for when hiring an attorney (hint: it's not their fees)
- Why knowing the "lay of the land" in your local court system is as important as knowing the law
- How court staff relationships can quietly determine whether your case moves forward... or stalls
- James's framework for what questions to ask when interviewing a potential attorney

About James Porfido
 
James Porfido is a New Jersey-based attorney with over 35 years of experience as both a prosecutor and criminal defense attorney. He is a Certified Criminal Trial Attorney, certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey. He is currently of counsel at a 65-attorney New Jersey firm, an adjunct law professor teaching advocacy and persuasion at Seattle Law School, and a legal analyst who has provided commentary on high-profile cases including OJ Simpson, the Menendez brothers, and Scott Peterson. His book, Unequal Justice, is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

#HighConflictDivorce #FamilyCourt #ParentalAlienation #JusticeDelayed #CustodyBattle #FalseAllegations #DomesticViolence #CoerciveControl #BeenThereGotOut #UnequalJustice