Why Did the Judge Do That? A Former Family Court Judge Explains

What does a family court judge actually think when you walk through those courtroom doors?

If you have ever walked out of a hearing asking "why did the judge do THAT?" — this conversation is for you.

Peggy Walsh spent 18 years as a family court judge — after first building her career representing parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. Then she took off her robe. Not because she stopped caring, but because she believed that the people who love a child should be the ones making decisions for that child — not a stranger, however well-intentioned, in a black robe.

Today, Peggy works as a co-parenting coach, helping parents stay out of court altogether — or, when court is unavoidable, understand exactly what to expect and how to show up effectively.

In this conversation, Lisa and Peggy go deep on what family court actually looks like from the inside — and what most attorneys never tell their clients before they walk into that hearing.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS INTERVIEW:

✅ Why judges assume BOTH parents are high conflict — and how that shapes everything they observe
✅ What judges really notice about demeanor (and why the person blurting things out in court isn't necessarily the problem outside of court)
✅ The one question you should always ask your attorney before your first court appearance — and why most attorneys forget to answer it
✅ What "forced resolution" vs. "compromised resolution" actually means — and why Peggy always preferred to help parents reach their own agreements
✅ The specific things only you know about your family that no judge ever could — and why that makes negotiated parenting plans almost always better
✅ What status conferences are, why Peggy loved using them, and how they can reduce conflict over time
✅ Why appearing to "want it all your way" in front of a judge rarely ends well — and what to do instead
✅ How to think about co-parenting communication as modeling behavior for your children — not just logistics management
✅ Why your child hears your tone of voice even when they are upstairs and cannot hear your words
✅ What it looks like to stop making your ex the "star of your show" — and why that shift changes everything

THIS INTERVIEW IS ESSENTIAL IF YOU:

- Are going to court and do not know what to expect
- Are frustrated by a custody decision you do not understand
- Are trying to build a parenting plan and wondering whether to negotiate or let the judge decide
- Keep getting pulled back to court by a high-conflict co-parent
- Want to understand what judges actually value — not what TV court dramas portray
- Are ready to shift from reactive victim to proactive problem-solver in your case

ABOUT PEGGY WALSH:

Peggy Walsh is a retired family court judge who served for 18 years, primarily handling divorce and family law matters. Prior to her time on the bench, she represented parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. She is now a co-parenting coach, helping parents navigate high-conflict situations, create workable parenting plans, and stay out of court whenever possible.

Connect with Peggy Walsh: https://peggywalsh.com/