Been There Got Out Podcast
Been There Got Out Podcast
What a Guardian Ad Litem Actually Cares About
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What does a Guardian Ad Litem really think when a 10-year-old says they want 50/50 custody?
Crystal Wright has heard it hundreds of times — and she can tell instantly when a child has been coached. As a family law attorney AND a working GAL in Atlanta, Georgia, Crystal is one of the rare practitioners who has seen the custody system from every angle: as the attorney fighting for clients, as the neutral investigator protecting children, and as the professional who has had exactly one parent incarcerated for defying her court orders.
In this conversation, Crystal joins Lisa Johnson to unpack one of the most contentious questions in family law: when should a child's voice be allowed to decide their custody arrangement — and when should it be completely disregarded?
The answer, Crystal says, has nothing to do with how articulate or advanced your child is. It has everything to do with whether the language they're using sounds like an actual child — or like someone's lawyer.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How GALs instantly detect when a child has been coached — and what specific language is a dead giveaway
✅ Why "I want 50/50 custody" coming from a 10-year-old should raise immediate red flags
✅ What the 'borrowed scenarios' phenomenon looks like in a real investigation
✅ How Crystal visits kids at their schools — without telling the parents — and why she always gets new information
✅ The real impact on children when they're put in the middle: clinical depression, self-harm, 17-year-olds calling their GAL crying at 10pm
✅ At what ages (11 and 14 in Georgia) a child's preference becomes legally relevant — and why that still doesn't mean they get to choose
✅ The non-negotiable case for reunification therapy — and what Crystal does to parents who try to block it
✅ How to find a qualified GAL and what to look for in a mental health expert for an older, refusing child
✅ What to do when your child won't see you: Crystal's direct advice to rejected parents
⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 — Introduction: How Lisa and Crystal met at the Bridging the Gap conference in London
01:45 — How a GAL tells the difference: coached child vs. genuine preference
04:30 — Crystal's background: family law attorney, boutique firm in Atlanta, and why she loves GAL work
06:00 — Advanced children vs. coached children: why intelligence isn't the issue
08:15 — "I want 50/50" — why that phrase signals coaching immediately
10:00 — Age and preference in Georgia: the affidavit of election at 11, determinative weight at 14
13:30 — Why Crystal stopped having children sign affidavits of election
15:45 — The 17-year-old: even at near-adulthood, best interest analysis still controls
18:00 — Reaction to New Jersey's ruling: what does it mean for children's long-term wellbeing?
21:00 — Why Crystal visits children at their schools — without telling parents — and what she learns
23:30 — Children and truth-telling: parroting, fawning, and protecting a parent
26:00 — Loyalty conflicts: the real emotional impact on children stuck in the middle
29:00 — Clinical depression, self-harm, and older kids calling Crystal crying at 10pm
32:00 — Older children refusing contact: how to make the case for intervention to the court
35:00 — Reunification therapy: Crystal has never been denied an order for it — and here's why
38:30 — What happens to parents who block reunification therapy: contempt motions and incarceration
41:00 — What kind of expert witness to bring in for an older refusing child
43:30 — False allegations and fake documents: how they're handled in investigation
46:00 — How to find a good GAL and what qualifications actually matter
48:30 — How to prepare your child for a GAL interview (and what NOT to say)
51:00 — Advice for rejected parents: don't give up, keep reaching out, send birthday gifts
54:00 — Memory, photographs, and why fighting for a child who doesn't want you right now still matters
56:30 — How to find Crystal Wright and closing remarks
💬 Connect with Crystal Wright:
Instagram: @crystalwrightlawga
Website: https://crystalwrightlaw.com/