How to Survive a Parenting Coordinator When Your Ex Won't Cooperate

If you've been ordered into parenting coordination, or you're wondering whether a parenting coordinator could help your high-conflict custody case, this conversation is for you.

Lisa sits down with Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney with 26 years of experience, founding partner of Sodoma Law (seven locations across the Carolinas), and a practicing parenting coordinator since 2005. What makes Nicole's perspective uniquely powerful is that she's not just an expert — she's a targeted parent who has personally worked with three different parenting coordinators since her own separation in 2019. She knows this process from every angle.

Together, they break down what a parenting coordinator actually does, who gets one (and why), what the most common and costly mistakes parents make are, and the practical communication and documentation strategies that can help you stop making them — starting today.

Whether your parenting coordinator seems to be favoring your ex, you're confused about what decisions they can and can't make, or you're just trying to understand how to use this process strategically, Nicole gives you a clear, honest roadmap.

🕐 TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction — Who is Nicole Sodoma?
01:20 What is a parenting coordinator, and how does it connect to reducing conflict outside of court?
03:45 What qualifies as a "high conflict case" — the legal definition from North Carolina statute
06:10 Can a parenting coordinator tell right away who is high conflict?
08:30 Lawyer PC vs. mental health professional PC — which one should you choose?
11:00 Do parenting coordinators ever talk to your kids or observe exchanges?
13:20 Parenting coordinator vs. guardian ad litem vs. custody evaluator — what's the difference?
16:00 Nicole's personal story: three parenting coordinators after her 2019 separation
21:15 What happens when one party just won't cooperate with the PC process
24:30 Guardrails and impasse clauses — why your parenting plan needs them even without a PC
28:00 Legal decision-making areas: education, medical, extracurricular, religion — and now technology
31:00 Mistakes parents make — the full laundry list from Nicole
31:30 Mistake #1: Over-communicating with your toxic ex (and how to stop)
34:00 Bill Eddy's BIFF method and understanding high-conflict personalities
36:15 BTGO's Strategic Communication course — why communication is everything
38:00 Mistake #2: Reacting emotionally instead of strategically — the "knee jerk response"
40:30 Mistake #3: Choosing to win over choosing resolution
43:00 Mistake #4: Failing to recognize the real impact on your children
46:00 The 7-38-55 rule: why what you say matters less than how you say it
49:15 Mistake #5: Social media — why that post never feels as good as you think it will
52:30 Mistake #6: Not documenting patterns (and how to do it right)
55:45 BTGO's approach to targeted documentation — the "Super Bowl commercial" concept
58:00 Recording exchanges — when it helps and when it can backfire
01:01:00 Nicole's top 3 practical tips: shared children's email, school communication, blended family planning
01:06:00 Technology in parenting plans — social media rules, Apple accounts, and age parameters
01:09:00 How to find Nicole Sodoma + her book "Please Don't Say You're Sorry"
01:11:00 Closing thoughts and takeaways

If this conversation helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it. You are not alone in this.

#ParentingCoordinator #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #CoParenting #FamilyLaw #NicoleSodoma #ParentingPlan #StrategicCommunication #ParentalAlienation #BeenThereGotOut