How to Stop Obsessive Thinking About Your Ex: A Somatic Psychologist Explains

"Obsessive thinking is repetitive self-stimulation. It has movement in it — thought is a movement, it's an energy form." That's how somatic psychologist Annie Brook describes the loop so many of us get stuck in when life feels unsafe and unsolvable — the 3am replaying of a text from your ex, the imagined arguments you have in the shower, the same worry circling through your mind for the hundredth time. 
 
If you're navigating high-conflict divorce, co-parenting with someone who won't cooperate, or the daily uncertainty of parental alienation, you already know this loop intimately. Chris Barry welcomes back somatic psychologist Annie Brook, Ph.D., LPC, for her second appearance on Been There Got Out, this time diving deep into why our nervous systems get hijacked by obsessive thinking, and exactly what to do about it. 
 
Annie doesn't just explain the neuroscience, though she gets wonderfully geeky about the amygdala and hippocampus along the way. She teaches real, physical, in-the-moment tools you can use the next time your brain won't let go: an exercise to find the "center" of your head, a boundary practice she calls the hula hoop, a detective exercise for noticing exactly how you ruminate, and her signature "Blink Blink" technique for turning a stuck, painful thought back into free energy. Chris connects each tool directly back to what our community faces: court prep, hostile co-parenting calls, and the exhausting mental replay that comes with legal abuse. 
 
What You'll Learn: 
 
✅ Why obsessive thinking is your brain's attempt to "motor" its way out of an unsolvable stress, not a personal failing 
✅ How a simple axis exercise helps you find the calm, centered part of your brain instead of the anxious, analytical forehead 
✅ How to build an invisible "hula hoop" boundary that protects your energy without shutting people out 
✅ How to put on a "detective hat" and identify whether your rumination shows up as pictures, words, or sounds 
✅ Why talking to your own rumination like a friend who needs help can surface what you actually need 
✅ How one client turned a court-ordered call with her abusive ex into a "bingo card" that made the calls bearable 
✅ Why staying "on the surfboard" instead of getting pulled into the emotional undertow protects your nervous system 
✅ How the "Blink Blink" technique dynamites a stuck thought and turns it back into usable energy 
✅ How the amygdala and hippocampus build a lifelong "file cabinet" of safety patterns, and why that matters for your triggers 
✅ Why nervous system regulation isn't a luxury for our community, it's a strategic necessity for court and co-parenting 
 
About Annie Brook: Annie Brook, Ph.D., LPC, is a somatic psychologist with over four decades of experience helping people repair and regulate their nervous systems. She is the former Director of Body Psychotherapy for the Master's program in Somatic Psychology at Naropa University, and co-founded the clinic Colorado Therapies, where she has worked with families, children, gang-involved youth, and survivors of abuse. Annie holds a Ph.D. in Perinatal and Somatic Psychology and blends neuroscience, movement, and body-based practices to help clients recover from trauma and chronic stress. She teaches ongoing classes including Healing Complex Trauma and Healing Birth Trauma, trains therapists in somatic methods, and is expanding her practice to include equine therapy. This is Annie's second appearance on Been There Got Out, and Chris and Lisa consider her one of the community's most requested guests.